It’s the summer of 2016 and Petal Harmond has come to New York City to become a writer. Of the many hurdles impeding the achievement of her dream, two are most pressing. She’s got writer’s block and she’s broke.
Casting around for a temp job to cover rent (she walks everywhere and dates for food) she hears that a local news channel is hiring a business news producer. Having previously worked in TV, Petal thinks this could be the perfect job for her. A bustling environment to shake her out of her creative drought and a guaranteed opportunity to meet men who can afford a second entrée.
A happy-go-lucky generalist, Petal assigns zero significance to her ignorance of the worlds of banking and finance. In fact, she approaches the interview brimming with confidence, convinced that she can wing it and everything will fall into place. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
Dear Mr. Friedman,
HEADLINE
STOP THE SEARCH! I AM YOUR NEXT BUSINESS NEWS PRODUCER
LEAD
Thank you for your time today. It was a pleasure to discuss the role which I can confidently say has my name written all over it. Not only will I do a brilliant job, I am convinced that I can jazz up the rather dour way you currently cover financial news and usher in a renaissance in reporting that will see the business news division outshining the rest.
BODY
While I recognise that my somewhat lacklustre performance on the ‘general knowledge of the economy’ quiz you issued may give you pause, allow me to allay your fears. You see, on the day of the interview I had eaten some off pastrami for breakfast and the aftermath gave me a severe case of brain fog and also caused my tardiness (for other unfortunate reasons too unsavory to elaborate upon here).
Rest assured not only am I known for my punctuality but as a voracious consumer of business news nothing on the financial landscape escapes my notice.
Which is why I found the question,“What is traded on the NYSE?” to be misleading and rather limited in scope. While the correct answer may be equities, options, ETPS and bonds, my rather more fanciful suggestion of pork bellies, US dollars and gold bullion signals not only a vivid imagination but also a curious and resourceful mind. The right answer isn't always the most newsworthy one!
As for answering Alan Greenspan to all of the questions below, I wish to challenge your assessment that I was wrong.
Q. Who is currently the Chair of the Federal Reserve Board?
Q. Who holds the most senior position in the IMF?
Q. Who is the Chair and CEO of NASDAQ?
Q. Name the Secretary of the Treasury?
The way I interpreted the question, an esteemed economist like Mr. Greenspan could have in theory overseen any one of those roles. What of it if he didn't and was in fact the Chair of the Fed ten years ago. No disrespect to the acting Chair, but don't you agree that the past is our greatest teacher? Is it not our forebears’ shoulders we stand upon? With that logic, Alan Greenspan was a visionary answer!
This brings me to your final test, a brief round-up article highlighting three pieces of breaking business news that I was tasked to write on the spot.
In hindsight, I admit that choosing to lead with a review of the musical Hamilton over the post Brexit stock market plunge and the oil price recovery and giving the Bank of England's interest rate cut short shrift could be seen as an unorthodox choice by some. I nonetheless stand by my journalistic acumen. The review is full of prophetic insights and cautionary tales that your viewership of world leaders and industry giants could do well to learn from.
Commercially speaking, it is a delightful, evergreen piece of reporting that lends itself to repeat viewing, acts as filler on slow news days and can be sold into international syndication.
ENDING
Am I the obvious choice, Mr. Friedman? No! Am I an out-of-the-box, truth seeker whose passion for finance will not be limited to updates on derivatives, bonds and mortgage rates? A resounding YES! If you're looking for the perfect trifecta of journalistic integrity, a killer instinct for story and a commercially driven-mind that is so macro it's actually mega, then look no further. You've found your producer!
Thank you for your consideration.
Petal
BYLINE
Petal Harmond is the author of six unpublished and unwriten novels. Having graduated with a Bachelors of Science degree from a prestigious Liberal Arts College she is qualified to do absolutely nothing and has no means to repay the thousands of dollars she owes in school loans. When she's not crashing on people's sofas she lives with her parents.
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